“Adults Do Their Job.”
By Miles Guantanamo, Montana Standard Sports Correspondent
In a Week 3 clash that had the entire football world buzzing, the Montana Wombats set out to extend their winning streak after a triumphant Week 2 victory over the Des Moines Raiders. The challenge couldn’t have been more daunting as they faced off against the undefeated and top-ranked Moscow Black Bears. The Wombats, despite playing on their home turf, entered the game as 9-point underdogs, but they were determined to make a statement.
Leading up to this colossal showdown, the headlines were dominated by discussions of the Moscow Black Bears’ undeniable prowess, while the Montana Wombats found themselves at the center of an unflattering narrative as the perceived underdogs.
“We don’t pay much attention to the Commissioner’s Power Rankings because, if they were truly accurate, they would consistently rank the Roadrunners at the bottom every week,” quipped Tim Longwood, responding to the media frenzy surrounding Moscow’s top-ranking status and Montana’s supposed underperformance. “Power rankings are essentially written by losers. Final scores are a product of winners. We have a locker room filled with professionals who put in the hard work and worked their asses off to defeat a formidable Moscow team,” Tony Longwood added with an air of confidence.
As the game unfolded, the Wombats maintained control throughout, with standout performances from quarterback Kirk Cousins, running back Kenneth Walker III, and wide receiver Ja’Marr Chase, all amassing over 25 points. On the other side of the field, the Black Bears, dealing with injuries and perhaps some overconfidence, appeared lackluster in Week 3, posting their lowest point total of the season. James Conner led the charge for the Bears with 21.6 points. In the end, the Wombats put an end to Moscow’s pursuit of a perfect season, prevailing over the visiting team with a final score of 145.5-119.4.
Post-game, despite the victory, Tim and Tony Longwood, the dynamic leadership duo, chose to redirect the conversation away from their team’s performance on the field. They declared that the primary headline of this week’s triumph should be “Adults do their job.” It was abundantly clear that the Longwood brothers had immense faith in Coach Smawock and the Wombats, almost as if they could foresee the outcome before it transpired. In an unexpected twist, they turned their attention to NAFC Insider Dale Walters, who is currently battling COVID.
“We believe it’s time for Dale to put away his ink and quill. He’s a left-wing radical with a track record of questionable allegations,” Tim Longwood asserted. “I can personally attest that Dale couldn’t even make the junior varsity team at his high school. To make matters worse, his mother, Eileen, made not one but two calls to the school to protest his exclusion!” Tony Longwood chimed in.
While the veracity of these allegations remains uncertain, we extend our best wishes to Dale Walters for a swift and complete recovery from his battle with COVID.
In closing, the Montana Wombats continue their relentless journey with their rallying cry of “Wombattle on!” As they prepare to welcome the Aces to town in Week 4, the Wombats are poised to build upon their newfound momentum and further assert their presence in the league.
