“The Oilers Are A Dumpster Fire, and Ben Tidgren Is Holding the Match”
Written by Dale Walters
Austin, we have a problem. And its name is Ben Tidgren.
The Austin Oilers, once a proud franchise with playoff aspirations, are officially the laughingstock of the NAFC. At 1-5, with the team in full-on fire sale mode, fans are left wondering: has marriage made Ben Tidgren soft? You heard that right—the newlywed owner and self-appointed general manager seems to have lost his edge, his ambition, and quite possibly his understanding of how fantasy football even works. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was trying to turn the Oilers into an episode of “House Hunters” instead of a competitive football team.
This past week, Tidgren waved the white flag and traded away two of the Oilers’ brightest stars—Jamar Chase and J.K. Dobbins—to the Moscow Black Bears for future considerations. Yep, the same vague “considerations” that didn’t exactly pan out for Austin in 2021 when they shipped out Jonathan Taylor in a deal that left most fans scratching their heads. Once again, Tidgren is gambling on a draft future he seems incapable of handling, as if he’s a high schooler cramming for finals the night before the draft. Remember that Jonathan Taylor debacle? The Oilers were a playoff team with a chance to be a dark horse for the Yuma Bowl in 2021. But once Taylor was gone, so were the Oilers’ chances, plummeting into irrelevance faster than Ben’s honeymoon tan faded.
What did Tidgren do with all those picks he secured for 2022? He went 8-6, only to crash out in the first round of the playoffs. 2023? A pitiful 6-8 record. Fast forward to today, and it looks like 2024 will be even worse. And yes, it’s actually possible to be worse when you’re tied for the third-most interesting team in Austin—behind the Longhorns and the 8U South Austin Stingers, a peewee football team that at least knows how to string together a few wins.
Austin’s only bright spot on the season might be their talented punter because he’s getting more action than anyone else on this sorry-ass squad. Tidgren’s leadership—if you can call it that—has the Oilers’ once-hopeful fans wearing bags over their heads and chanting, “Sell the team! Sell the team!” It’s only a matter of time before a homemade “For Sale” sign gets posted outside the Oilers’ locker room, maybe with a “Willing to Trade for Actual Talent” disclaimer.
The Jamar Chase and J.K. Dobbins deal? Don’t hold your breath waiting for those “future considerations” to pay off unless Tidgren drafts better than he did the last few years (which he won’t). In the meantime, enjoy watching Zamir White—yes, Zamir White—take the lead in the backfield. He has about as much chance of leading this team to victory as I do of growing a full head of hair by next week. In a division stacked with star-studded teams, the Oilers are betting their season on a player who, let’s be honest, wouldn’t even make the Longhorns’ practice squad.
At this point, it’s time to ask the hard questions. Should Tidgren move the Oilers out of Texas? I mean, we already have enough bad football here—why not spare the city of Austin any further embarrassment? Relocate the team to Colorado, where Ben recently took a “life-altering” hike. You know, the one where he had an epiphany that the Oilers were destined to win the 2024 Yuma Bowl. Yeah, right. That must’ve been the thin air talking because this team is more likely to match the 2023 Aces for the worst record in league history than they are to hoist any trophy.
It’s time for a reality check, Ben. You’re no Jerry Jones, and this isn’t a poorly written season of Hard Knocks. You can’t be the owner, the GM, and—judging by the way you manage the roster—the water boy. If you want the Oilers to stop circling the drain, do the right thing and hire someone who actually understands how to build a team.
Until then, Austin fans, buckle up for a long, miserable season. With Zamir White in the backfield, and Ben Tidgren at the helm, the only thing certain is that 2024—and probably 2025—will be a disaster of epic proportions.
